It will be two years to the date here this weekend of when you transitioned, Momzi. My paradigm got really shifted once I lost not only you, but Dad and Latte’ very close together. At first, I withdrew. The loss was so painful, I really didn’t know how to deal with it. No one can really prepare you for such a time in our lives. I prayed, I journaled and finally, began to learn how to take just one day at a time, one hour at a time. That was enough. I learned to cry again, if that’s what I felt I needed to do. I learned to talk about what was on my mind during those times, if that’s what I needed. I learned to be vulnerable again. Over the months, I have not only cried, I have laughed in remembrance of something funny we shared and I am now learning how to honor you, more and more each day. One night, Tony and I both dreamed about you – the very same night. Since I hardly remember my dreams, I couldn’t wait to tell him. He beat me by sharing it first. We think that you visited us that night. We have so many wonderful memories with you! Every time I write and express myself, I am keeping my promise to you. You once told me, “You have a gift, Savoi”. Before losing you, you asked me to promise you that I would nurture this gift. Below is one of the poems I wrote about you in Rear View Reflections. What an angel you are to me now!! As you always signed on our cards – “Love eternally”.
Awesome Gift of You!
Best friend and mom- what a blessing! I knew this day would never be easy. I just wanted to be there every second as you have been in my life, day in and day out, present in every moment, there. I believe all moms are special. You broke the mold, though. My goal was to always just be there – through the thick and thin, and any kind of weather, as you always were with us. I enjoyed knowing you knew I would not only be there but be who you could count on. Of all of your worldly accomplishments, we, (O and I) were your proudest. I miss you horribly – the void is real. While I am reminded that I carry you in my heart, in my pocket, in my life, and in my face, you are right here with me every step of the way. Who ever knew that one’s own mom would turn out to be one’s best friend ever? Thanks for giving me your awesome gift of you!
