Dark and Lovely

“I don’t have gray hair.  I have wisdom highlights” – Anonymous

Why is that I can admire so many ladies who are bold enough to sport their silver locks, yet when I see silver on me, (even having admired a lady whose skin tone is identical to mine), I feel old, ashamed and even less than? Jamie Lee Curtis and the late Toni Morrison are just a few that I have admired embracing their silver.  While our men can become gray and genuinely many are SO much finer, we women are not embraced as well.  (Yes, yes, yes, I’m thinking of my once love and deceased hubby Bruce Hocker).  He was such an example, just like Sean Connery, of how drop-dead gorgeous most men become all ‘grayed up’!  It’s so unfair that it is socially accepted for men to embrace their evolution while women are almost shunned to do so.

I really never thought I would ever go gray. I would say confidently that everything was natural on me, except for ‘Dark and Lovely’.  I was referring to my hair color brand.  For years, I only felt good with dark hair.  A large part of it was about holding on to my youth.  Besides, for years, gray hair was associated with being old, not cool nor sexy.  I couldn’t believe it when young people started graying their hair.  Oh, so gray hair is cool now?   I remember thinking – Really???

I also shared the same struggle that Jada Pinkett-Smith revealed most recently – thinning hair.  My hair is already thin.  So to thin out even more in places has been my experience for the last 7 years. I went to my dermatologist.  It was confirmed that my thyroid was functioning fine.  However, it was suggested I take a medication that would lower, my already low blood pressure.  I declined – since that makes no sense to me to challenge the rhythm of my body, just to grow hair!  My already short cut, is even closer now for uniformity!

Oh sure, I have the option that many have chosen.  A woman may just color her locks, wear a wig, get braids or a weave. Well, everyone doesn’t look good with wigs on – trust me . . . not my strong suit.  While I love this on many ladies, I really do not like them on me.  I purchased some wigs preparing for these continued changes in my life.  I even tried wearing them recently.  The only wig I did like on me is an Afro wig.

The end of 2018, I went gray.  Then I saw a picture of myself, and I loved the gray, but i didn’t like the thinning I could see in some areas.  So, I went back right back to my comfort level – Dark and Lovely to feel better about myself.  The all natural picture above of me is my new declaration and confirmation that my silver is back and this time is here to stay.

My confidence level about truly embracing myself in this area is increasing day by day.  I felt bare and uncomfortable at first.  I admired secretly, anyone I knew who sported gray.  Each of us get to decide what is right for ourselves.  My lesson in this has been that it is never too late to truly embrace yourself – gray and all.   To do so is truly an expression of me embracing all of me – my hair, my aging and the new me.  As an anonymous quote says, “Never regret going older, for it’s a privilege that’s denied to many” .

How have you dealt with these two common aging issues – thinning and/or gray hair?  I would love to hear your journey.  Am I the only one dealing with the fear of embracing the new you, the now you?  My conclusion is that it really is okay to either choose Dark and Lovely, or choose to be your wiser silver self! Ultimately, the choice is what makes you happy!